A zany and profane ad for my upcoming paperbacks for the Unbound Realm, soon available directly for purchase from King’s Entertainment

What the ass-crack-swipe is happening, all you prank-loving mofos who spot your significant other’s butt-slit and can’t resist the opportunity to run your credit card down its length but as soon as it reaches the pucker, a demonic voice booms, “WHO HAS AWAKENED AHNDAGO RAHN-THOON???”  Your significant other straightens up, eyes glowing, eliciting whimpers from your cowardly mouth as you back up slowly and turn to run but before you can, tentacles shoot out from their black-lit butthole and lash tightly around your limbs and neck, help, somebody fucking HELP, you manage to grab the sawed-off under your desk and start blasting away, but each butt-tentacle grows back in the blink of an eye, mother of fuck they’ve got tiny fucking MOUTHS with needle-like teeth, you whisper a futile prayer to mech-suit Batman but it’s way too late you’ve unleashed the horror of the Unending Dark—

And THAT, my friends, is why you don’t’ credit-card-swipe them unguarded buttcracks!  Shit, even if Batman hears you, he’ll say fuck that fool, and leave you to die via tentacular strangulation and/or consumption!

Admittedly, that had nothing to do with my upcoming paperbacks for the Unbound Realm, soon available from King’s Entertainment. But now that I have your attention, I’d just like to announce that all three books will be available as paperbacks from King’s Entertainment, and there will be a three-book bundle as well!

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