Tag: lifestyle
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A zany and profane ad for my paperbacks for the Unbound Realm, soon available directly for purchase from King’s Entertainment
I’m a grown-ass dude, but that don’t stop me from jorkin’ it like a madman. I’m talking enough kinetic energy to start a damn fire, using a bow-and-drill setup during a once-in-a-century, tropical downpour. If it weren’t for the lube, my wiener would look worse than Vader’s burnt-ass— Suddenly my heart seizes and abruptly flatlines. …
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A zany and profane ad for my social media
What the ass-bulb is happening, all you colon-stuffing adventurers who stuck a super durable, light-emitting device up your bunghole in a drunken stupor then completely forgot about it, now you’re wandering past CERN as it opens a wormhole into other dimensions and triggers glitches in the electromagnetic paradigm all through the universe, as a result…
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A zany and profane ad for my social media
While I’m under Taylor’s desk, eating out her Grammy-award-winning pop-star-vajeen, she squeezes my head with both her thighs. It turns my cheeks purplish-red—my eye-veins swell and visibly throb, to the point where you can watch them and clock my pulse. Then, as she gasms, she bangs my head against her desk. “OW!” I rub my…
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A zany and profane ad for my social media
What the dickmatyzation is happening, all you meatslingers who’ve got it all (the beer can width, perfect amount of melanin across the shaft and the head, aesthetically distributed veins, and, most important of all, a g-spot hammering upcurve) and decide to parade through town, proudly swaying your hips and letting that knee-knocker dangle betwixt your…
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A zany and profane ad for a survey on my website (yep, that’s what AI thinks I look like)
Hey you, I would like to put my giant weiner away, wind it around my thigh, tuck it into my sock and ask you some questions. Please help me so I can get back to myhotmom dot com and get motivated to get back to writing. https://form.typeform.com/to/QYCbTtI8?utm_source=xxxxx#first_name=xxxxx
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A zany and profane ad for a survey on my website (yep, that’s what AI thinks I look like)
Hey you, I would like to put my giant weiner away, wind it around my thigh, tuck it into my sock and ask you some questions. Please help me so I can get back to myhotmom dot com and get motivated to get back to writing. https://form.typeform.com/to/QYCbTtI8?utm_source=xxxxx#first_name=xxxxx
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A zany and profane ad for a survey on my website (yep, that’s what AI thinks I look like)
Hey you, I would like to put my giant weiner away, wind it around my thigh, tuck it into my sock and ask you some questions. Please help me so I can get back to myhotmom dot com and get motivated to get back to writing. https://form.typeform.com/to/QYCbTtI8?utm_source=xxxxx#first_name=xxxxx
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A zany/profane ad announcing a survey on my website (the last one didn’t work but now we fixed it)
What the nemesis fight is happening, all you superspy mofos who’ve engaged in a 100mph car chase with 90s style euro-goons, flame-jump-transitioned to the top of a bullet-train, only to find yourself in a hand-to-hand melee where you’re punching/kicking/wrestling in an attempt to gain control of the one knife and one gun that somehow manage…
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A zany and profane ad for a survey on my website (yep, that’s what AI thinks I look like)
Hey you, I would like to put my giant weiner away, wind it around my thigh, tuck it into my sock and ask you some questions. Please help me so I can get back to myhotmom dot com and get motivated to get back to writing.
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A zany and profane ad for a survey on my website (yep, that’s what AI thinks I look like)
What the Caveman Yearning is happening, all you office-bound clickety-clackers who’re clickety-clacking away at some infernal piece of data-sorting BULLSHIT when the urge to doff all civilized life washes through you and inspires you to purse your lips and start aggressively bobbing to an imaginary set of primal drums—DOO-doo doo-doo-doo DOO-doo doo-doo-doo—then gallop around on…