Tag: kindle unlimited
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A zany and profane ad for my paperbacks for the Unbound Realm
What the dick exam is happening, all you poor unfortunates who have to go to the doctor for one reason or another, the doc asks you to drop trou and holy shit it’s colder than a goddamn refrigerated meat locker, your junk looks like a frightened acorn, gotta plump that shit up so you start…
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A zany and profane ad for my paperbacks for the Unbound Realm
What the fuck? Last thing I remember was jerking it to myfriendshotmom dot com, then something hit me on the head and it all went dark… “Hnngh!” I can’t loosen the ties around my wrists or ankles. “Help!” I yell. “SOMEBODY HEL—” The lights click on, illuminating an empty, expansive warehouse. Two people come strolling…
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A zany and profane ad for my paperbacks for the Unbound Realm
What the shaft cut is happening, all you immaculate wiener-shavers who’re going for that perfect royal garden-maze-worthy hedge at the bottom of your womb-hammer because you’re getting ready for a date, the masterpiece is almost complete but right as you carve the last of your initials into the base of your bush your straight razor…
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A zany and profane ad for my paperbacks for the Unbound Realm
I’m a fan of Batman AND Kpop Demon Hunters, so when I see the Dark Knight and Jinu sitting side by side at a Comic Con table, I beeline over for both their signatures. As I get my memorabilia ready to sign, Batman extends a hand, prompting me for a shake. “Hey, I’m Edward Cullen! …
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A zany and profane ad for my paperbacks for the Unbound Realm
What the cup of cheese is happening, all you degenerate tricksters who lure your friend by pretending to sniff the air with a puzzled expression and asking, “Why does it smell like bread?” Then, when they too sniff the air with a puzzled expression, you fart as hard as you can into your hand and…
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A zany and profane ad for my paperbacks for the Unbound Realm, available directly for purchase from King’s Entertainment
As I’m walking down the street, I glance into an alley and spot a woman yanking her pants down, crouch on the pavement, and give birth to a dooker with a teeth-clenching HNNGHH! Holy shit (literally)! Is that…MARTHA STEWART??? She yanks her pants up, grabs my throat, lifts me off my feet, and pins me…
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The Courage to Choose a Different Path
Sometimes the biggest decisions… …don’t feel dramatic. No fireworks. No guarantees. Just a pen, a signature… …and the courage to choose a different path. 📖 The Unbound Realm — Chapter 1 continues. What’s one decision that completely changed the direction of your life?
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One Question.
“Do you think you’ll live a fulfilling life?” One question. No magic. No monsters. No easy answers. Just a question that has the power to change the direction of a life. Some conversations stay with you long after they’re over. 📖 The Unbound Realm — Chapter 1 continues. How would you answer that question today?
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Would you sign it?
“Sign it… or don’t.” Sometimes the biggest obstacle isn’t a lack of opportunity… It’s waiting until we have every answer before taking the first step. How long would you wait? 📖 The Unbound Realm — Chapter 1 continues. Would you sign… or walk away?
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A zany and profane ad for my paperbacks for the Unbound Realm, available directly for purchase from King’s Entertainment
What the old man cum is happening, all you geriatric sausage-floggers who manage to squeeze a tiny little drip-drop of aging penis-tear out of the tip of your womb-hammer, you break down sobbing because it used to be a goddamn firehouse and you could lean back and jerk it and shoot over your shoulder and…