What the dickmatyzation is happening, all you meatslingers who’ve got it all (the beer can width, perfect amount of melanin across the shaft and the head, aesthetically distributed veins, and, most important of all, a g-spot hammering upcurve) and decide to parade through town, proudly swaying your hips and letting that knee-knocker dangle betwixt your shins, at first it’s all appreciative murmurs and people stemming their drool with bibs and napkins, then a tide of jealousy envelops the mob and you’re sprinting through the streets at Mach fucking ten, trying to outrun a flood of small-dicked fuckholes who have neither width nor curve nor eye-pleasing melanin (gotta feel sorry for those folks who have to spray-tan their dicks, lest they end up looking like gross baby mole rats that’re so goddamn pale you can look through their backs and watch the arteries and capillaries pulsing throughout their torsos, you know that’s gross you fucking KNOW IT) you dart into an abandoned building, bar the door with a piece of lumber, then lean against it as they pound on it relentlessly and snarl like a pack of fast-zombies from World War Z, why did you tempt them with your award-winning womb-hammer, why God why WHY WHY WHY—
And THAT, my friends, is why you don’t dickmatyze the masses with yer got damn hog! You never know when they’ll form a small-wienered hive-mind, and try to rip you limb from limb!
Anyways, now that I have your attention, let me direct it toward some social media links! Please be a pal and give them a follow! 😊
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