What the nemesis fight is happening, all you superspy mofos who’ve engaged in a 100mph car chase with 90s style euro-goons, flame-jump-transitioned to the top of a bullet-train, only to find yourself in a hand-to-hand melee where you’re punching/kicking/wrestling in an attempt to gain control of the one knife and one gun that somehow manage to keep from sliding completely out of reach, now you’re hanging onto the skid of a wildly veering helicopter, slicing past a breathtaking Old World cityscape replete with stunning cathedrals and sun splashed Roman architecture, fuck the chief fucking bad guy is clinging to your leg and screaming menacing one-liners so you unzip your fly, fish around in there and pull out your long-ass scrotum like it was a heinous veiny stage-magic scarf, whip it in circles above your head, then sling it forward so it vwip-vwip-vwips around your nemesis’s neck, now he’s gagging and choking on your wirey-haired nutsack, rasping damn you, DAMN YOU TO HELL—
Good God, man, haven’t you heard of a kick to the face??? Just kick that dickhole off your leg! It’s people like you who’ve turned the greater public against us long-balled scrote-wielders and forced us to tie them shits around our thigh, instead of letting em breathe free in the crisp fall air! (There’s probably more to it, but your villain-choking balls are PART OF THE PROBLEM!)
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, I’d just like to take this opportunity to inform you there’s a new survey on my website! Please click and clack the boxes on the survey–I truly appreciate it!
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