Musings

When negativity arises unbidden in my brain, one of its defining qualities is that it feels permanent. When positivity hits me out of the blue, there comes a disheartening point where it begins to feel temporary.

I used to argue with these phenomena by trying to rationalize and brute-force negativity into transience, and, on the other hand, trying to rationalize and brute-force positivity into permanence. It never worked–I just ended up exhausted and strained.

So now, if negativity arises, I allow it to feel permanent if that’s how it feels. Conversely, if positivity feels transient, I allow it to feel transient. I’ve found that with the emptiness and ease that inevitably follows, I naturally end up reverting to default positivity, without any rationalization or conscious effort. No one needs to know this happened–for me, it’s a purely internal process, as long as it’s fully internally felt (on the other hand, I’ve tried to forcibly control negativity and positivity through external actions and expressions, and it never works on a consistent basis for me).

Ironically, my life is much easier and enjoyable when I allow what’s seemingly permanent to feel permanent, and what is seemingly transient to feel transient. Things just seem to fall into place.

I don’t think of this as faith, so much as an active practice of trust.

Explore More Musings

If you enjoy these reflections, many more appear in Musings, Volume 1, a collection of Kent Wayne’s philosophical writings.

Or see how these ideas shape the worlds of Kent Wayne’s fiction.